hvnlyheatherly

SOMETIMES, YOU NEED TO GROW THE FUCK UP.

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 19:42:45 GMT

Yaaay! It's May, and I can't wait to move out of here and get my own place. I was thinking of moving in an in-law, they're really nice, I was actually looking at some online today. I'd probably live somewhere by sunset. It'd be expensive, but worth it.

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 08:05:17 GMT

it's cool that austin posted what his diet was. It's just interesting to see, if the whole You are What you eat notion is true. POST YOUR DIET!

Here's mine, Wednesday, April 12thith.

Breakfast, 1/2 grape fruit, 2 slices of Turkey Bacon, two hard-boiled eggs
Lunch, 1 chicken breast, and Caesar salad
Dinner, whatever hella good stuff adam made, courtesy of Maria's Mom...rice prepared with tomato paste and chicken, with corn tortillas.
Dessert, creme brulee and mango milk.

(I wish I could have this stuff everyday...) GOd, I love mangoes.

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 18:55:17 GMT

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 01:57:44 GMT

woops...try the photo thing again.

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 22:11:50 GMT

my photos

rest, for all.

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 22:50:15 GMT

I knew it would happen on a Sunday in the Vatican.

I couldn't sleep the past three days and nights, no matter what I tried. I tried everything. It's not very often that in one's lifetime, passing away of a great Pope occurs. I will miss him.

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 19:14:13 GMT

In Memory of Terri Schiavo

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 20:49:55 GMT

"WHEN IS THAT BITCH GONNA DIE?"

--Michael Schiavo

http://www.rense.com/general63/aff.htm

change of pace.

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 05:38:19 GMT

What's been wrong with me lately? I haven't been listeing to myself as I should, my anti-impetus has been propelling my every action...if that paradox is useful. I guess. I find myself being rude to other people, namely Derek, and cussing when I shouldn't be. I'm trying to make this as sarcastic as I can! I indulge. I'm lazy. I'm a horrible person. I believe I complain uneccessarily. I waste time.

Oh, yeah, where was I. See? I can't concentrate. Now that I've have assessed the problem, I see that it has been the same story for me all along. I remember having all of these negative feelings...and so much more, I was once forced to write all the 'positive' things about myself. And then, in secret, I'd write all
the negative. I'm insecure and masochistic.

I need to find a hobby to distract myself.

begging.

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 05:38:17 GMT

Dear Austin and photoshop possessing Friends,

I recently discovered that a photoshop cd was left here on New Years for me. But it's no where to be found. If you or anyone else will be visiting soon, could you give me the hook up?

I have been waiting for photoshop for so long now.

I love photoshop.

Sincerely,

Heatherly

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 05:47:21 GMT

I haven't felt the urge to update until now. :( I quit Acme Chophouse, and decided to go with Gary Danko. Things have been okay with me, I guess. I will be in Roseville on Saturday and I would love to see you, yes YOU. What an 'update.' What to do with all this down time: I can finally wash my clothes!

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 06:33:12 GMT

http://www.insultmonger.com/swearing/

If you can't say it in English...

Okay...some homeless guy failed to use the pedestrian today, he circled my vehicle. Derek was in the passenger seat, and I told him to lock his door, because the look of him threatend me. He walked up to Derek's window and said, "NO ONE'S GONNA ATTACK YOU, NO ONE WANTS YOU." And then he walked off. That right there shook me up. No one in the right mind WANTS to be attacked, I wish to have told him, PUTANKINAMO!

Yeah. I made Kimchi fried rice today, and was proud of myself in the fashioning of it. Derek said it was as good as his mom's, but I find that hard to believe. I once had kimchi fried rice at his mom's house and his mom told me that in Korea, the quality a woman's kimchi fried rice will determine wheter or not she is worthy. I think Derek was just being nice. ;O)

the bunny isn't as cute as Maria's, duh.

wheeee! again.

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 06:59:37 GMT

Ah yesh...the joys and sorrows of the Napa Valley. I don't know...maybe the place is growing on me, I don't know. I love it there, but I can't stand being in my parent's home. Anywho, I just got back! YAAAAAY!

I got the new Keane album, Hopes and Fears, and am enjoying it thorougly. I'm sore, worked out for 3 hours, by force. My friend Annie made me do it! Okay. Major plans this coming NEXT weekend. St Patricks Day: Cabbage Soup and lots of alcohol. Maybe some Irish...um, coffee. Maybe there will be a screening of The Leprechaun at our apartment. You should come.

*********************************************************************************
The 18th: BIRTHDAY TIME IN SAN FRANCISCO!!!! Joanna and I.

***************************** I like mangoes. ******************************

The 19th: SANTA ROSA party/get-to-gether. There will be lumpia involved.

*********************************************************************************

No plans for the 20th. I'm getting old, mother of god. 23? I can't believe it.

I went crazy with the digital camera. Pics to come soon! ;) I need to figure out how to use the thing.

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 19:59:50 GMT

I heart The Joy Luck Club. ah...the downstairs fuckers are playing their music sooooo loud. I wish I were invisible...then I could go down there and bash their stereo, and damage things indiscriminately. I really have nothing to write about.

because derek will read this.

Tue, 01 Mar 2005 06:03:58 GMT

The cartoonist for The Simpsons is Matt Groening.

Last name? GROENING.

Pronunciation? "GRAIN-ING"

...and i believe the mispronunciation would be a horrible, horrible SIN against any SIMPSON FAN.

bitter. the list.

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 06:55:32 GMT

OkAY. A few of my good friends are going through heart breaking travesties. One who was recently cheated on... I think I should modify the list for her a bit. But yeah...Here's the listamaggigy. Maria, I'll burn your copy asap...and hopefully get it shipped to yous.

Ani DiFranco - Untouchable Face
Fiona Apple - Sleep to Dream
Giant Drag - This isn't it
Bjork - 5 years
CAKE - Nugget
Gloria Gaynor - I will survive
Dead Milkmen - If you Love Someone, Set them on Fire
Hole - Doll Parts
Le Tigre - The Empty
Portishead - Mysterons
Peaches - Fuck the Pain away
Rilo Kiley - Teenage Love Song
The Postal Service - Nothing Better
Radiohead - Talk Show Host
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Black Tongue
The Ramones - I don't wanna walk around with you
WEEZER - Tired of Sex
Queen - Another One Bites the Dust
White Stripes - I think I smell a Rat
They Might be Giants - Hypnotist of Ladies
The Delgados - All you Need is Hate
Tori Amos - I'm not in Love

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 21:15:23 GMT

when life gets complicated, you just want the simple things.

Remember simplicity when your were little? No court cases, nor mold to deal with, no job interviews and dress pants to look for, no rent to worry about, or bills.

All this, makes me want lucky charms. And to run far, far, away.

But no matter where I am, I can't escape the Peter Pan syndrome, I am growing up, goddammit, I just don't want to deal with all the shit. I want something else, but I don't know what it is. STABILITY. LIBERTY. SAFETY. I want people to stop giving me shit, is what I want. I want a fucking job that I'm happy with.

Do I really want to serve Yuppies, I wonder. I should have hung out with Legs McNeil last night. Darn. Instead, I hitched a bus back to this moldy apartment and fell asleep in the modly, damp room where Derek came to find me, coughing, still.

It's getting better, I think. Life is, not my cough. The more I put up with shit and deal with it, the better off I am, the more prepared I am to stabilize my sanity. I hope it holds out, it looks like it won't be fair weather if it continues...if I lose control, I don't know what I would do.

My mother called me...what a wonder if there ever was one. Yes, disown me, and then when you're done, tell me that you've bought something for me from the Philippines and act all happy and worried about me. I don't understand human behavior, and I don't think I ever will. Understand? My self? I don't want to be understood. Just to get a fucking grip? Maybe? Sometime? I'm counting down how many dollar bills I have left stored in my closet. I'm not putting them in the bank, the bank rips me off. I refuse to deal with any monetary system whatsoever. Screw you, Washington Mutual. Shove it up your ass.

February is a wonderful month.

bad review.

Fri, 25 Feb 2005 07:09:55 GMT

REVIEW <-----click here to write a (bad) review for CAMERA ZONE on Yahoo. You have to create a fake Yahoo! Account, if you don't have one. Don't mention anything that happend to me...just comment on the bad business/management. That's one way to get back at Camera Zone. Please Help and pass this on...

THANK YOU.

for those who don't have a myspace bulletin

Thu, 24 Feb 2005 07:26:09 GMT

(415) 359-0947 1365 Columbus Ave is where "Camera ZONE." Is located.

Please don't go there.

I entered Camera Zone on Columbus in San Francisco to ask where Gary Danko's, a restaurant was located. I was looking for employment, and wanted to meet up with the General Manager. I knew I was close to the restaruant so I parked and walked in Camera Zone and asked. The manager, a balding middle eastern looking man wearing a black blazer and jeans, about 5’9, in his 50s, was standing behind the counter with his assistant. So I asked if they knew...and hadn't heard of the place. I asked them if they were sure, it is a 5 star restaurant, and was listed at one of the top five restaurants, it's on the tourist map (which I didn't have) and everything. They still said no. So I asked them if they could look it up on their computer and they said NO. Then I asked if they had a phone book I could look at. The manager paused and was eyeing me in a dirty way and asked me what my name was. I told him that I didn't think I needed to tell him my name, I just needed to use the phonebook, please. So the manager said

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY STORE...asshole...bitch!"

What the fuck? Back up here a minute: asking for directions.....and then I'm called an asshole, a bitch. It’s male castration anxiety all over again. Sorry, sir…in America, women don’t wear burkas, or are subservient so you don’t call women that or else they’ll chuck your pathetic postcards on the ground.

Okay. So, pissed off, I took a few post cards and I threw them on the ground and crossed the street to get to my car....The Manager follows me, grabs me and attacks me and tells me to pick up the postcards NOW or else. At this point I'm struggling with him, trying to get in my car…he's blocking the car door with his body and hurting me, but I still manage to get in, but I drop my keys. He takes my keys and runs back to Camera Zone with them, and I tell him that that’s theft and I told him to hand over my keys. More struggling….he takes one end of my key chains, and I try to take my keys back, and the key chains rip in half. I luckily got the half with my car key…

I was so shaken up as I drove away. I went to the nearest Denny’s, called the police…who really didn’t do anything but blame me. And the fucking bastards told me I "should have just given him a fake name and then just walked away.” That I “shouldn’t have gone in there alone.” That because I’m “From Napa, I can’t handle San Francisco.”

Excuse me? That does not justify or excuse the battery of another person. They were trying to make that bastard manager’s offense equal to my throwing down this post card. Yeah…I got scratches on my arm that they took polaroids of…filed a report. For a straight hour I was shaking non-stop and couldn’t breathe normaly, the dispatcher was worried an called an ambulance. I didn't think I needed one, but I was that fucked up. I kept telling myself I should be stronger…the same exact thing happened with me and my landlord when I told him I was moving out because he wouldn’t fix the lock, and because I wouldn’t go to dinner with him…

His masculinity was insulted by virtue of female rejection, and loss of control, which he tried to regain by resorting to violence. I am beginning to believe that male narcisstic reactance is a common result in which a person believes they are entitled to get what they want...A name reply, dinner, sex...and when they don't, they act violently.

I will not consent to this behavior, and I will continually reject their SORRY ASS BEHAVIOR until WOMEN get some GODAMN RESPECT.

On top of that, I got downsized today…but that’s a different story.

I can't understand...someone tell me why?

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 23:45:09 GMT

I called the mold patrol. Yes...the mold patrol. THey're coming Friday morning to see what's up. I've been getting respiratory problems and fever symptoms for a week now because I was sleeping near a whole buncha MOLD. So when you see mold, clean it, spray it with bleach, and buy anti-mold paint so that it doesn't colonize.

I got locked out of my house. Never thought it would happen...I just wanted to get my clothes out of Auschwitz (the laundry place i nicknamed) right in our backyard practically, and I locked myself out like an arse. Well, I suppose that was God's way of saying, "get an appointment with the mold patrol."

Apparently, the lady who took my appointment for the mold patrol had at least 20 other household complaints of the similar nature. MOLD. IT WILL EAT YOU ALIVE.

I'm staring at a tub of cinnamon roasted almonds. I had a tub from COSTCO, but someone ate it all in one night. It was $16.00 to replace it. They aren't cheap almonds. They only come three times a year to COSTCO. But all issues are solved for now, and that's the most important part. I made almost 300...but they're downsizing and I won't be working there anymore. They're "considering me for future hire." What happened was, Angelo, the manager over-staffed people. Meh. I won't be working tonight I suppose. Yeah. No more job for me. Time to start looking!

as seen on myspace.

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 20:35:50 GMT

LEGS MCNEIL
Friday, February 25th // 7 pm
- reading and booksigning

you know...co-author of PLEASE KILL ME...and the uncensored oral history of the porn film industry.

http://booksmith.com/events.html

I have to work. SOmeOne gO foR meeeeeeEEEEEE.

...and get something signed for me. The book, toilet tissue, your ass...I don't care.

Love,

Heatherly

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 08:12:27 GMT

Thai food, THURSDAY, 6:00 PM. Be there or DIE!!!!!!!!

Derek bought I <3 Huckabees. Hmmm...

Man these walls are thin, I just heard the downstairs asswipe sneeze. And I'm still sick. Work tomorrow.

Mold is going to kill me.

stop and think a minute.

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 09:31:10 GMT

i finally realized why my boss angelo assumed i worked in strip bars.

i met his daughter, monica, who is newly employed at the cafe.

she wore heels to work today.

she works in the strip bar one block from the cafe...

perhaps he just said that so i might seem on par with her.

this, i will never know...

but i do understand now, and have more compassion for angelo and

his daughter.

never ending stairs.

Mon, 21 Feb 2005 03:47:14 GMT

thrash...thrash...thrash...thrash. The sound of my bones clashing against joints, against cement, triple times the speed of my racing heart, triple times the customer asked where his lemonade was. Remind me. I work. Work such as this requires running on empty, and lots...lots of thrashing...until 1 o'clock in the morning. So tired, I couldn't sleep! Oh how I yearned to. As soon as I got home, I drank that canned luke-warm clam chowder triple times the speed of my spinning head. And I have half a day to recover, I can't hear the sound of my voice until I work at 444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444. But on this bright side. I made money. Congratulations, capitalism.

Sat, 19 Feb 2005 20:34:35 GMT

Loveliness.

We celebrated Derek's 23rd birthday party...several people couldn't make it, but that meant more food for for us! I took the liberty of three orders of pizza, for some reason, Domino's got more complements than Seniores. I thanked everyone who came, and everyone who called. I believe Derek enjoyed himself, he reveled in creating arguments among the passionate Star Wars/Star Trek people, (the wonderful nerds)! We didn't finish Empire, rain check on that, Maria. Poco Maria brought COOKIES that were devoured in minutes. I was busy the entire time trying to get things in order, Noli and Chris came and gave me vitamins for health, and I finally met Viv (arin). Completely adorable people came. It didn't have the same New Years vibe, no one's purpose in such case was to get drunk. Austin and Brian...maybe Steve were rowdy over super mario cart. Jenny was the last person to come, but she stayed the night. We watched Grease, and that movie is NOT lame...it's an American classic, dammit. It gave Steve the idea to entitle his car, the "Sin Wagon." The war of words between Steve and Jenny just wouldn't quit because Steve stole the shag rug from under Jenny's feet and she had to sleep on the couch. So Steve put a stop to it: "You...*sniff* *sniff*...smell that? Did you kweef?" Something to that effect. Yeah...that set a laugh attack off for everyone. Wondering why we didn't get a second noise complaint for the night, they were pretty loud. Joanna came this morning! They're all at breakfast, or somewhere down in the Castro, poor Joanna, the only girl! I promised myself I'd work out or clean. Gotta do that before my 4 o'clock shift this evening!